Ten puns based around the
titles of James Bond films, but they're puns about cars. Plus one.
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1. The Car is Not Enough
2. For Your Car Only
3. The Man with the Golden Car
4. From Russia with Car
5. Never Say Car Again
6. Car Royale
7. Tomorrow Never Car
8. Car
9. The Living Car
10. You Only Car Twice
MI6's agent numbering scheme explained
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00 - Agent licensed to kill
01 - Agent licensed to *be* killed
02 - Agent licensed to give birth
03 - Not used
04 - Not used
05 - Agent finds kitten
06 - Agent is giant, has posse
07 - Not used
08 - Not used
09 - Not used
10 - Withdrawn
James Bond's five most demeaning codenames
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1. Bedraggledaisy
2. Muloon
3. Pantichoke
4. Donkeylamb
5. Origam
Eight Q-Branch gadgets we do not see in the films
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1. Microwave television SO44/61
A microwave oven with a television screen hidden behind the keypad;
allows agent to heat food whilst watching television.
2. Alarm clock / radio / pen SO44/18
An alarm clock/radio with a hidden compartment which conceals a pen,
useful for those occasions when an agent must listen to the radio at a
specific time whilst noting down details, e.g. traffic conditions, race
results.
3. Walther PPK magazine flask, SO45/561
A seven-shot PKK magazine converted into a watertight vacuum flask,
capable of storing 40ml of liquid at a set temperature, e.g. secret
formula, soup, cognac. Note: do not mistake for actual magazine.
4. Midget DB5 SO46/3
An Aston-Martin 'DB5' modified to quarter-scale, powered by a modified
50cc two-stroke. Appears be more distant than it really is, thus
allowing agents to engage the enemy more closely.
5. Midget Submarine SO46/4
An Austin-Rover 'MG Midget' modified for underwater travel. Not to be
confused with SO46/7, a submarine of unusually diminutive size.
James Bond film titles in Italy, translated back to English
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1. Live and Let Die = Mr Live Live, Die Die
2. From Russia with Love = Blondie Die
3. Goldfinger = The Taste Freedom is Gold
4. Never Say Never Again = Knock me down with a feather, clever Trevor
So-far unused puns on the name 'James Bond'
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James Somabondaram, the lawyer
James Ond, restraunter
James Bonde, film critic
Edward Beatlesbond, star of 'The Wicker Man' and 'The Equalizer'
Jane Campi-bond, the director
Little-known facts about James Bond
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James Bond, when struck, makes a deep hollow ringing happy sound.
In James Bond's world, the James Bond films do not exist; in their
place, audiences thrill to the 'Sand Pebbles' series.
Excerpts from pre-release promotional material and
behind-the-scenes documents
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From Russia with Love:
... "Certainly, the audience should get a kick out of seeing
Robert Shaw gassed, beaten and strangled; I wanted his face to be a
mask of blood by the end, but obviously Saltzman disagreed..."
Tagline #3a:
"The wit of IAN FLEMING combined with
the music of MATT MONRO to produce GREATNESS!"
Goldfinger
... as screenwriter Alexis Kornea reveals, "I personally
believe that my original tagline, "There's GOLD in them thar THRILLS!",
was good enough, but obviously Saltzman disagreed..."
Live and Let Die
... as screenwriter Alexander Fawlkes reveals, "Obviously, the
plot's emphasis on voodoo magic will give the film an in-built appeal
to coloured audiences, and I believe I captured their speech patterns
quite effectively".
Moonraker
... as screenwriter Aubrey Fordrey explains, "There's the
tradition, almost a cliche by now, of having James blow up the
villain's lair, and of course we did that in the last film, but this
time Bond also dooms several hundred relatively innocent teenagers to a
horrible death in the process, something we imagine going down very
well with our core audience of 21-35 year olds".
Octopussy
... but the greatest challenge for the veteran composer was
the all-important signature tune. 'To a certain extent, a James Bond
theme song makes no sense outside the context of the film - if you
hadn't seen 'Goldfinger', for example, the lyrics would have baffled
you - and so I've tried to capture the essence of the storyline
somewhat. The chorus, for example ("Octopussy / she's a hussy / in
love, always fussy / is she good / or bad / who can tell?") attempts to
illustrate the bipolar nature of Maud Adams' title character..."
The Living Daylights
... escaping from the Russian airbase, TIMOTHY DALTON enlists
the aid of the heroic Afghan 'Mujahadeen' to stow away on board a cargo
plane, which he proceeds to deliberately crash ...
Die Another Day
... as screenwriter Babington Marceaux reveals, "I was
particularly proud of the title I thought up, 'ICBREAKER'. Ian Fleming
had a gift for titles, and although ICEBREAKER has no precedent in
Fleming's world, I think it carries his legacy forwards effectively.
Obviously, in a literal sense, the story climaxes in a melting 'ice'
palace, but Bond himself is a metaphorical 'icebreaker' - unstoppable,
an axe driven relentlessly into a cold, unfeeling world, beneath the
surface of which lurk unseen terrors. Certainly, if the producers were
to alter the name of the film before it is released, I would kill
myself, and my family."
Bond #28
... as screenwriter David Hitler reveals, "After the last
film, with its invisible car, holographic VR simulators, laser
satellite, robot fighting suit and so forth, we've tried to up the ante
this time; the villain's base is buried deep within Charon, moon of
Pluto, whilst Bond must transduce himself into pure energy in order to
channel the Violent Unknown Event into a wormrift in the
energo-gravitronic unimatrix..."
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